Nonsmoking Painters, LLC

HUMOR

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Nonsmoking Painters, LLC slogans:

"what were your last painters smoking?!"^SM

"We'll be stoking, ain't no joking, what were your last painters smoking?!"^SM

"The only resins we bring to the job site are in our paints!"^S^M

"The only residues we leave on the walls and ceilings are our paints!"^S^M

Nonsmoking Painters, LLC general humor:

What is one of the main differences between nonsmoking and a smoking painters?
The only butts Nonsmoking painters bring to the job site are their own and they promptly remove them from the job site when the job is finished.

What is one of the main differences between nonsmoking and a smoking painters?
Nonsmoking painters promptly remove their butts from the job site when the job is finished.

What is one of the main differences between nonsmoking and smoking painters?
Nonsmoking painters don't take near as many breaks and they typically finish the job faster than smoking painters... that is unless the smoking painters were smoking methamphetamines.

What is one of the main differences between nonsmoking and smoking painters?
Smoking painters are always broke because their wages are consumed by the cost of cigarettes.

Customer Prospect: "My neighbor had his house painted in one day."
Old Wise One: "Really? But what about the dry time after pressure washing and cure time after various sealer, primer and caulking stages before applying paint? ... You should ask him, 'what were your last painters smoking?!'"

Impatient Customer: Your quality is great, your price is too... but why does it take so long to get the job done? The last painters were smoking painters and they got the job done fast.
Nonsmoking Painter: Yes, and that even with all their breaks, but we nonsmoking painters are such a small minority and one person doing high quality work will naturally take longer.... besides, somebody has to clean up the damage and mess left by the smoking painters - and that's why you called us!

Disgruntled Customer: "My last painters were contracted to paint the walls in yellow but they look brown!"
Old Wise One: "Probably because they didn't specify in the contract the browning effect of the resins from whatever it was that they were smoking during the job!"

Disgruntled Customer: "Ever since our last painters were here our house smells horribly, my wife is hallucinating and the newborn child has birth defects!"
Old Wise One: "What were your last painters smoking?!"

Disgruntled Customer, speaking to foreman of crew of smoking painters: "Why are they taking so many breaks?! I want this job done now!!!
Smoking Painters Foreman: "Butt... butt, butt..."
Disgruntled Customer: "I'm sick of all your butts! - you're fired!! i'm calling Nonsmoking Painters right away!!!"